This edition first broadcast January 20, 2000

THIS PLACE IS LIKE A PRISON! GREAT, HUH?
Some unsuccessful crooks complain that life on the inside of prison is pretty tough. But jail officials in Independence, Iowa released four Amish teenagers serving time for a vandalism charge because...they had it too easy. The four are members of the "Old Order" Amish, a religious sect who shun modern conveniences like electricity, telephones, and automobiles, and even refuse to put snaps and zippers on their clothing. The teens pleaded guilty to vandalizing a local farm and got a 90-day sentence. But officials released them early because they feared the four were being spoiled by the jail's modern conveniences. said one official: "I thought we better get them out of here because they were getting too used to it. The TV, electric lights, telephones, running water -- I think they were starting to like it here."

FUNNY MONEY AT BINGO WORLD
A woman was arrested for counterfeiting during an incident at "Bingo World" in Jefferson City, Tennessee. The woman tried to pass two counterfeit hundred-dollar bills, and investigators found ten more bogus bills in her purse. It didn't take long for the funny money to be discovered: the Bingo game that night was being sponsored by the local chapter of the Fraternal Order of Police.

BANK ROBBER HOT DOGS IT IN NASHVILLE
A man entered a bank in Nashville, Tennessee, waved a small silver object in the teller's face, and demanded money. He claimed the object was a bomb, and said that if she didn't cooperate, it would explode. He escaped with an undisclosed amount of cash. Police who recovered the "bomb" outside the bank say it was actually a hot dog wrapped in aluminum foil.

THE LEGEND OF DISHONEST ABE
He dresses in a stovepipe hat, dark coat, and fake beard, making him the spitting image of Abraham Lincoln. But this Abe is anything but Honest. He's wanted in a string of robberies in the Rockville, Maryland area. The man police are calling "Dishonest Abe" first appeared just after the lunchtime rush hour at a Rockville restaurant, opened his coat to reveal a gun, and made off with an undisclosed amount of money. Over the next several months, the bandit hit ten other stores and gas stations in the area, sometimes accompanied by an accomplice -- who also wore a fake beard. This is not the first time evil ex-presidents have gone on a crime spree in the Rockville area: two men disguised as Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan knocked over three restaurants and a bank over a nine-day period in 1993. Two suspects were arrested in that case, but Maryland officials were unable to get a conviction.

THESE GUYS ALL HAVE THE SAME NUMBER: ZERO
Acting on an anonymous tip, police in Augusta, Georgia detained five brothers, all driving 1999 Chevrolet pickups. during their investigation, The cops found evidence that the vehicle identification numbers on all five of the trucks had been changed. The brothers claimed they had bought the trucks in Florida, and hadn't received the paperwork on the sales yet. the story began to fall apart when the cops noticed that the suspicious VIN number on each brother's truck was a perfect match for his social security number. The men admitted the trucks were stolen, and explained that they had used their social security numbers because they couldn't think of any other numbers that would be easy to remember.

A SOFT SPOT IN HIS HEART -- TO MATCH THE ONE IN HIS HEAD
A Crossville, Tennessee man arrested for passing a bad check decided to keep a memento of his ride in a police car -- which may end up costing him more than the original charge. After transporting the man to the Justice Center for booking on the check charge, the arresting officer searched him and discovered two car door-lock knobs. The suspect admitted to swiping the knobs as souvenirs. County officials say they will press theft charges against the man for stealing the knobs. Bail for the theft charge was set at $1000, while the bail for the original bad check charge would have been $250.

WHAT AM I IN FOR? DON'T ASK!!
A Salt Lake City, Utah man was arrested after a bank robbery on New Year's eve. the suspect concealed his gun inside a large envelope when he entered the bank. After a teller handed over the money, the man fled, leaving the envelope behind. Investigators say the envelope was a very helpful piece of evidence: it had the man's name and home address on it, and contained his state-issued certificate of graduation from an anger management course.

THE UNADUMBER HAS BEEN CAPTURED
An airliner bound for Seoul, South korea was forced to return to San Francisco after a man phoned in a bomb threat to help his girlfriend catch the flight. The FBI says the suspect phoned the airline several times to ask them to hold the plane because his girlfriend was running late. later, an anonymous caller claimed there would be an explosion aboard the flight. The plane, which had already taken off, returned to San Francisco for a bomb search. The suspect, who admitted making the call, was arrested in St. Louis, Missouri a short time later. If convicted, he faces up to ten years in prison.

IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER...
A Northwest Airlines pilot was fired after he refused to take off because he didn't like the in-flight meal. The pilot walked off the plane, which was fully loaded and about to leave Las Vegas for a flight to Detroit. Unable to find a meal to his liking in the departure lounge, the pilot got in a cab and left the airport. After rustling up some satisfactory grub, he returned to the airport and flew on to Detroit. The pilot, a 22-year Northwest veteran, was terminated by the airline several days later.

I CANNOT TELL A LIE
Police in Brattleboro, Vermont received an anonymous tip that a local man would be returning from a trip to Springfield, Massachusetts with crack cocaine. Officers spotted the man's car, pulled him over, and discovered a crack pipe in the car's front seat. The suspect admitted to having a small quantity of crack cocaine, and turned it over to the officers during his arrest. He may have also dealt his case a big blow while filling out an application for a public defender to represent him: in the blank on the form that asks for the suspect's occupation, he wrote "selling drugs."

AND FINALLY...
Police in Wheeling, Illinois accused a Wal-Mart cashier of buying merchandise at the store using credit card numbers she had copied from customers. Investigators say the cashier had made their job easier -- she identified herself by name on the fraudulent receipts to make sure she got her employee discount.