This edition first broadcast on April 27, 2000.

OKAY...THIS TIME I WON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES...
A 50-year-old Albuquerque, New Mexico man was arrested after he tried to steal three different utility trailers from a Home Depot store in a single evening. The first trailer came loose from the man's pickup and crashed a few miles from the store. The man returned and stole a second trailer, which he lost not far from the first. A sheriff's deputy happened by the second trailer and stopped to investigate, just as the man came by with a third stolen trailer hooked to his truck. The fender of the trailer clipped the deputy's car, and a slow-speed chase ensued. The deputy says the man was travelling at a leisurely 25 miles per hour, "probably because he'd learned that trailers don't stay on too well at high speeds." The hapless crook was charged with three counts of theft, along with three counts of leaving the scene of an accident.

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT COME IN THREES...
A drug dealer in Vallejo, California was arrested after selling a package of crack cocaine to a plainclothes police officer. While out on bail, the suspect returned to the same street corner and was approached by the same police officer. When the dealer recognized him, the cop managed to convince the man that he was not the same guy, just someone who looked like him. The dealer sold the officer another package of crack, and was once again arrested. A few days later, the dealer was released on bail again and -- you guessed it -- returned to the same street corner, where the same police officer approached him. "This time you can't fool me," the suspect said. "I know you're the same guy who's arrested me twice." The officer admitted that, yes, he was the same officer but it was not a big deal, since he was off duty at the time. The not-so-bright dealer considered this for a moment...then sold the cop yet another package of crack. He's facing six years for dealing drugs -- since Being stupid is still not against the law in California.

MADNESS TAKES ITS TOLL
A motorist in Tulsa, Oklahoma ran a red light in full view of a police officer. When the cop turned on his blue light, the driver decided to make a run for it, leading the officer on a chase that stretched several miles and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour. The getaway came to an end at a highway tollbooth. Instead of driving around the booth or running straight through, the fugitive pulled up and stopped at the "exact change only" lane. He was still fumbling for correct change when the officer arrived to arrest him.

OKAY TOMMY -- THIS MAY STING A LITTLE BIT...
Union City, New Jersey prosecutors are investigating a local dentist, after a 5-year-old boy emerged from a routine office visit with a broken leg. The boy told his mother that the doctor had assaulted him after the boy kicked him because of the pain. In January, the same dentist was sued by the parents of an 8-year-old girl who suffered a broken wrist while having a tooth pulled in 1996.

SCAM GOES DOWN THE TOILET
A supervisor at a Waltham, Massachusetts postal center pleaded guilty to diverting greeting cards, stealing the gift checks inside, and attempting to destroy the evidence. The scheme came to light when maintenance workers, trying to determine why the lines in the center's restroom kept clogging up, discovered that the supervisor had tried to get rid of hundreds of pieces of mail by flushing them down the toilet.

IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR ... OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?
A hair stylist in Anoka, Minnesota got five years in prison for trying to hire a hit man to kill her husband after she allegedly botched two attempts of her own.  During one of the attempts, the woman used an exotic method of asphyxiation she had seen on an episode of TV's "Matlock."

OKAY CUZ -- I GOT A PORKCHOP HERE AND I AIN'T AFRAID TO USE IT
A Delaware man has been arrested for allegedly beating up his cousin with an assortment of frozen meats. Police say the assailant hit his victim in the head with a six-pound turkey, then made death threats while brandishing a five-pound block of hamburger.

GEE, THAT'S FUNNY...IT WORKED GREAT ON "MATLOCK"...
A woman from Bogota, Columbia, has been arrested for trying to smuggle a gun to a relative in prison. Investigators say the woman crammed a small pistol into her...rear end, and carried it past security guards. The gun got stuck so deep, the woman couldn't get it out again, and had to ask the authorities to take her to a hospital to have it surgically removed.

THIEF BOXES HIMSELF IN
An Akron, Ohio police officer responded to a burglar alarm at a local warehouse. When the officer got inside, he discovered someone had placed cardboard boxes on top of all the motion detectors. As he was being arrested, the crook said: "How did you guys know I was here? I put boxes in front of all of the security cameras so you couldn't see me."

SAINTS AND SINNERS
A burglar broke into a home in New Orleans and stole, among other things, several pieces of jewelry and a pair of New Orleans Saints' season tickets. The police arrested him the following Sunday at the Superdome. He was not only sitting in the homeowner's seat, he was wearing his jewelry.

"BAD IDEA OF THE MONTH" DEPARTMENT
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department has changed the prize it was offering in a fund raising raffle after receiving numerous complaints. The department will now give away $500 in cash instead of the original prize -- a 9 mm handgun.

THIS GUY'S ALL THUMBS
While an Ohio family was away on vacation, a burglar broke into their house and cleaned the place out. As he was gathering his loot, the crook spotted a blob of Silly Putty sitting on a tabletop and impulsively pressed his thumb into it. Investigators traced the thumb print and made a quick arrest.

HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME CLICKING ON THE HANDCUFFS
A Minnesota burglar with an ear for crime was arrested after a long string of residential burglaries. The man told police he picked his targets by placing his ear against a window of the house, where his uncanny sense of hearing could detect whether or not the occupants were at home. Police identified him by matching the ear prints he left on the windows at several of the break-ins.

AND FINALLY...
A man in Winnipeg, Canada had high praise for the local police for their quick reaction during a recent violent holdup at his place of business. Fred Lonn credited the "constant presence of police officers" in and around his location for the efficient response to the crime. Lonn is the owner of a Winnipeg Doughnut shop.