This edition first broadcast on June 7, 2000.

JAILBIRD TO LOVEBIRD AND BACK AGAIN
A prison inmate in Honolulu, Hawaii walked away from a work detail just five months shy of finishing an eight-year sentence. The fugitive apparently couldn't wait for parole because he wanted to get married to his longtime girlfriend. The pair never got to go on their honeymoon, though -- an employee at the marriage license bureau alerted police when loverboy tried to use his prison ID to apply for the marriage license.

A ONE-WAY TICKET TO STUPEYVILLE
A career criminal in Portland, Oregon hatched a scam to earn some easy pocket cash: he printed up some phony charity raffle tickets and made quite a bundle selling them around town. Police received numerous complaints, but were never able to crack the case until the man sold one of the phony tickets to someone who already had cause to be a bit suspicious of him: his parole officer.

CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE AT WWW.BAD-IDEA.COM
A computer hacker in Fort Collins, Colorado discovered a security flaw in an internet company's e-commerce website. The hacker threatened to reveal the weakness publicly unless the company paid him thousands in cash, along with a new Volvo station wagon. He was busted when gave the target company his name and home address for delivery of the Volvo.

EASTBOUND AND DUMB
Most people steal vehicles for money. A thief in New Orleans apparently did it to brush up on his driving skills. The man stole ten tractor-trailer truck cabs over a period of several days, then abandoned them within a few blocks of his house. When detectives searched the man's home, they found applications to several truck-driver training schools.

IRONIC CROOK NEWS
A man in Gorham, New York was arrested after assaulting his father at home. Investigators say the suspect got mad and beat his dad over the head with a rolled-up pamphlet about preventing domestic violence.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has come to the defense of an Arkansas railroad dispatcher who was fired because he has a heart condition that can cause him to pass out on the job. The EEOC is assisting the worker by arguing that "consciousness, in itself, is not a job function."

DON'T WORRY -- IT WASN'T IN A VITAL AREA
A man in Chester, South Carolina was arrested on a weapons charge after he pretended to be shot. The convicted felon fired a .22-caliber rifle out the window of his house and then put ketchup on his head and lay on the floor. The man's wife called 911 when she found him, and deputies responded. He told deputies the shooting was a joke, but federal law makes it illegal for convicted felons to handle or fire guns.

THE DUMBEST NAME IN THE SHIPPING BUSINESS
A courier in Columbia, South Carolina making a delivery to a State office Building noticed several brand new computer printers stacked near the building's exit and decided to help himself to one of them, which he took home and hooked up to his personal computer. The courier then returned to work -- and found police wating to arrest him. The suspect had made three big mistakes: he was spotted making the "reverse delivery," he was wearing his employer's emblem on his shirt, and the printer was the property of a state Supreme Court justice.

ESCAPE PLAN FALLS FLAT
A Detroit shoplifting suspect was crushed to death after fleeing the store's security guards. As the guards spotted the woman and approached her, she made a break for it and hid in the store's trash compactor. The woman was crushed after workers who were loading trash into the compactor started the machine. They had been on a break when the woman hid inside the machine and didn't notice she was there until they restarted it.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING
A disturbed man barricaded himself into a room at the Economy Inn in Long Beach, Mississippi and held police at bay for several hours. While a police negotiator tried to talk the man into surrendering, a SWAT team surrounded the building and kept watch on the motel with thermal imaging equipment. The team, which thought the area was secured, was amazed to see two men sneak onto the scene and start breaking into a car in the motel parking lot. Said the chief of police: "It was like a hunter seeing a deer. They all had their black uniforms on and were hidden. Then these two idiots came along. You can only imagine their surprise." The car thieves were quickly and quietly arrested, and the distraught gunman later surrendered. Said the chief: "It was a good night for the Long Beach Police Department. And a bad night for those two idiots."

IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN BY A "COPYCAT CRIME?"
The Children's Corner Daycare Center in Richmond, Virginia was hit by after-hours burglars recently. the crooks apparently had a little fun during their break-in, and left behind several photocopied pictures of their body parts. No arrests yet, but thanks to the pictures, police do know the suspects are female.

HURRY UP WITH THAT BAIL MONEY -- WE'RE LATE FOR "SPRINGER!"
A Batesville Arkansas woman was injured when her car collided with one driven by her father-in-law. After the accident, the two got out of their cars and exchanged gunfire. Both were arrested. When other family members came to bail the pair out of jail, another fight erupted. Several police officers were injured, and several more family members joined the first two in jail.

THE ONE THAT DIDN'T GET AWAY
A bride-to-be in Prestonburg, Kentucky didn't show up at the church for her wedding. But it wasn't because she got cold feet -- in fact, it was because she had hot fingers. The woman had been jailed for shoplifting her wedding gown and several other accessories from a local bridal shop.

SHADETREE GENIUS MIDASIZES HIMSELF
A Wesley Chapel, Florida man suffered a self-inflicted gunshot wound while working on his car. Apparently, the repairs involved drilling a hole into the car's exhaust pipe. The man couldn't find a drill -- but he was able to lay his hands on a pistol, so he decided to try to shoot the hole instead. His aim apparently wasn't any better than his idea, and the bullet riccocheted back at him.

AND FINALLY...
A Roanoke, Virginia police officer spotted a drunken man staggering down the street and followed him for several blocks before stopping him. The officer asked the man about a blue ribbon pinned to his hat, and was told he had just won a beer-drinking contest at a local bar. The winner was congratulated...then arrested.