This edition first broadcast August 19, 2001

COORDINATOR, HEAL THYSELF
The coordinator of a drunk-driving prevention program in Las Cruces, New Maxico was arrested at a D.W.I. awareness picnic and charged with drunk driving. Police nabbed the 52-year-old woman in the parking lot of the park where the event was being held. Several people working near the woman during the day told police they smelled alcohol on her. An officer who pulled her over in the parking lot smelled alcohol on her breath. The woman's blood-alcohol level was 0.09 percent -- above the legal limit in new mexico -- and she failed four of the five field sobriety tests. As the suspect did the tests, a crowd of people from the picnic gathered to watch, thinking it was some sort of demonstration. The woman has been placed on administrative leave by the county.

MR. GASBAG NABBED
Sheriff's deputies say a Los Angeles man released plastic trash bags filled with helium into the air, with burning flares and explosive powder attached. When the flare burned out, the bag would explode like a small bomb. the man apparently found this to be quite a hoot. He had no idea where the bags would land and, according to deputies, didn't seem to care. One, however, landed on the roof of a sheriff's substation three miles from Smiley's home and exploded. No one was hurt, but cops tracked the prevailing winds back to the man's home and arrested him.

BANK ROBBERY RULE #1: PLAN AHEAD
FBI agents suspected a Columbia, SC man was involved in a bank robbery in Georgia, so they went to question him at his home. the man told the investgators he knew nothing about the robbery, but one of the FBI agents left his business card just in case.When another bank was robbed a few days, the FBI agents knew just where to go: back to the suspect they had questioned earlier. The man had apparently found himself in line without any paper to write his hold-up note on, and used the only thing he could find in his pocket -- the FBI agent's business card.

IF HOYT & DELBERT TURNED TO CRIME...
Two men in Kentucky tried to pull the front off an ATM machine by attaching a chain from the bumper of their pickup truck to the front of the machine. As the bank's surveiliance cameras recorded the whole scene, the pair made an unsuccessful attempt to yank the front of the machine off. When their first attempt failed, the pair got out of the truck, assessed the situation, and agreed on another run at it. they made what police called, "several hard tries," but When their last attempt pulled the bumper off the truck, the two sped away. Police had no problem tracing or identifying the men, since they left the bumper chained to the machine with their license plate still attached.

BLIND LEADING THE BLIND
Two Jackson, Mississippi patrolmen attempted to stop a slowly-weaving car, with two men inside. The patrolmen followed the men, blue lights blazing, for several miles until they pulled into the driveway where one of the men lived. When the patrolmen asked the driver why he didn't stop for the police car's blue lights, he told them he didn't see them. Which was true - since the driver was blind. He was filling in for the passenger who was too drunk to drive the car himself. The blind man took his driving instructions from the drunk in the passenger seat. Since the pair had made it home safely, they were let off with a strong warning.

THE TRIPLE-TICKET CAPER
A man in Trento, Italy was running a little late for an appearance at the local courthouse to pay a couple of parking tickets. Police say he parked in a no parking zone in front of the courthouse when he went inside. Upon returning to his car, the man found a new parking ticket on his windshield. Being a law-abiding sort, he went right back inside to pay it. Waiting for him when he came back was...a third ticket. Police finally took pity on the hapless man and said they wouldn't make him pay the third ticket.

PEOPLE NOWDAYS JUST GOT NO RESPECT
A 60-year-old Roanoke Rapids, NC man has been charged with several drug violations for growing marijuana on his property. Police discovered the illegal farm after the man called local police to complain that someone had stolen 27 pot plants from his crop.

GIVE HER THE BART SIMPSON
An Akron, Ohio woman got off light for obstruction of justice after lying to police about the whereabouts of the father of her three children. A judge initially sentenced the woman to 15 hours of community service after police found the missing husband hiding in the woman's attic. but the prosecutor in the case had another idea, and the judge agreed. The woman was ordered to write 100 times "I will not lie to the police."

AND FINALLY...
A Pennsylvania woman lost her lawsuit against the state Department of Transportation for alleged back injuries she suffered when her car skidded out of control on an icy spot in the road. The case case was torpedoed by a videotape supplied by the woman's estranged husband. The tape shows the woman a year after her accident, wrestling with another bikini-clad woman in a vat of coleslaw during Bike Week in Daytona Beach, Florida.