10. Crap Knocked Out Of Annoying Man

9. Big-Mouth Punk Turned "Every Which Way But Loose"

8. Several Cans Of Whoop-Ass Opened In Bar Altercation

7. Man Accepts Offer To "Make Somethin' Out Of It"

6. Drunk Discovers He's Not Invisible Or Bulletproof

5. Nagging Wife Knocked Into The Middle Of Next Week

4. Sucker Punches Thrown In Drunken Cat Fight Over Dog

3. Attractive Woman's Arrival Sends Bulldog Up Plate-Glass Window

2. Man Takes Vicious Hit -- Kids Born Crosseyed

And the Number One Police Blotter Headline...

Man Dies After Inviting Friends To "Watch This"