10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. you can't do both. Pick one.

9. If you wear a Wonderbra...don't complain when we stare at your boobs.

8. Peeing standing up is a lot harder than sitting down. we're bound to miss every once in a while

7. Those "thin" clothes you're hanging onto in the closet? No offense, but you're never gonna be able to wear them again. Might as well give 'em to Goodwill.

6. Just so you know...men don't have any "feelings" to talk about.

5. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

4. If you want us to do something...you have to ask 3 times. The first time we didn't hear you -- and the second time we didn't think you were serious.

3. Columbus didn't stop to ask for directions...and he turned out pretty good.

2. If we say something that you can take two ways...and one of 'em makes you mad...we meant the other one.

...and the Number One thing for women to know about men...

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.