10. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" -- and five guys stand up.

9. First day of deer season is an official church holiday.

8. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.

7. The church directory doesn't have last names.

6. There's no such thing as a "secret" sin.

5. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer -- and only so their neighbors won't leave them a bag of squash.

4. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.

3. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.

2. People wonder if Jesus fed the 5,000 with two bass or two catfish.

...and the Number One sign you're at a redneck church...

The final words of the benediction: "Y'all come back now, ya hear?"