From the home office in an undisclosed location in Washington...

10 Come for the clothes...stay for the guns

9 It's like "Jackass"with heavier firepower

8 Can you smell what Rumsfeld is cooking?

7 Suck it, Osama

6 Sign up now...get a free can of whoop-ass

5 It could only be cooler if we gave out capes

4 The Army: because college is for homos

3 Clinton's gone...you can salute with all 5 fingers again

2 Chipped beef on toast: it's what's for dinner

and the number one rejected army slogan...

Oowa oowa oowa...!